I am a self-help book junkie. Even if I don’t follow every single piece of advice in the books, I enjoy reading them and then go “Yeah, yeah, yeah! That’s exactly what happened!” and then read intently on ways to mitigate the problems. After that, I’ll feel like I’m empowered to conquer the world – yes, one self-help book at a time.
This Valentine’s season, I decided to hit the library, borrow a few self-help books and actually follow a few of the tips faithfully in books mentioning ‘The Boyfriend’ issue, and test the results. Hey, I risk my own relationship just to bring you this article, so please read on.
Tip from Playing hard to get, by Dr Cindy Pan & Bianca Dye: Men are kind of like dogs. If you want them to do more of something you like, praise them.
What I did: The Boyfriend is not a particularly romantic person. He’s more the down-to-earth, reliable sort of guy – not necessarily a bad thing, but he certainly needs a little more encouragement in helping to spice up our dates more. When he decided to give me a “surprise” date, which generally entails taking me somewhere interesting for a date that isn’t our typical dinner-and-movie formula, plus not telling me where we’re heading to beforehand, I applauded him for his efforts by taking lots of pictures, thanking him on Facebook (so all my friends and his friends can see) and telling him that I had fun.
His response: He excitedly told me he still has a few ideas up his sleeves and that he’ll do these “surprise dates” more regularly.
My verdict: This tip works.
Tip from Playing hard to get, by Dr Cindy Pan & Bianca Dye: Keep some balance between the outgoings and incomings in terms of communications (e.g. calls, e-mails, texts)
What I did: I didn’t drop him any messages although I thought of him, because he didn’t send me any messages that day.
His response: No response. He didn’t even take notice that we didn’t exchange messages that day.
My verdict: Maybe this is a tip that’s more relevant for people who communicate obsessively. Or maybe for those who are a little insecure. - Next page
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Tags: couple communication, couple quarrels, reassurance, relationship tips, self-help books |
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It’s true that sometimes guys just want to see that they have the ability to make you happy… it helps their own self-esteem
There are self-help books that make me go DUH.
Omg, I’m trying to make everyone happy all the time
I wanted to say that I find your perspective really uplifting.
I was very nearly divorced after ten years of marriage myself. Thankfully I put into use several of the suggestions in this article and they actually worked well for me and Claire. The marriage is certainly healthier right now than it ever was.
The book that really works is Why Men Love Bitches. Another great recommendation that came from a male friend is The Rules.