We all know how it is like when friendships have soured over the years, or bad blood builds up and you just no longer know how to deal with certain people in life anymore. We get the viewpoints from both our male and female writers to find out more about the different ways to tactfully make your friends change for the better, or under dire circumstances say goodbye, adieu, sayoonara without overly hurting the other’s feelings.

From the Girl’s Heart

Friendship is undoubtedly one of the most important things in life. It facilitates in-depth communication and sharing, enhancing personal wellness. When you are surrounded by good friends whom you can count on, you naturally feel happier and more confident.

Whilst your best friends are always there for you, there are also those who are out to do more harm than good. Typically called toxic friends, or “frenemies” (a portmanteau of “friend” and “enemies”), these are the people you should avoid. Here are 5 types of toxic friends you should dump, pronto!

The Control Freak

Problem: The Control Freak cannot live without – you’ve guessed it – being in control of everything, including what you wear or eat, where you go, and what you do. Often, everything has to be done The Control Freak’s way. You may think that your friend really has your best interests at heart, but after a while, you start to feel like a puppet.

Solution: Know that The Control Freak is uptight, and arguing with him or her will not get you what you want. Instead, stand your ground without being accusatory, and be firm. If The Control Freak continues to attempt to control your every move, walk away. You neither deserve nor need a dictator for a friend.

The Stalker

Problem: The Stalker never sleeps. Whenever you update your Facebook status, upload a photo, send a Tweet or write a blog post, The Stalker would be the first to click ‘like’ or post a comment. You also receive a gazillion WhatsApp messages from The Stalker on a daily basis. It is almost impossible to reply to all of The Stalker’s messages!
If you aren’t already feeling uncomfortable about the unnatural amount of attention you are receiving, you should!

Solution: Stop fuelling the obsession – try limiting The Stalker’s access to parts of your online profile, and reply to messages selectively. You do not owe The Stalker your time, so why let your friend suffocate you? Soon, The Stalker will lose interest in you and move on to stalk someone else.

The Know-It-All

Problem: The Know-It-All is an expert on everything – or so he or she believes. The Know-It-All loves winning, is often arrogant, and always opinionated. A terribly annoying person, The Know-It-All constantly tries to make you look less intelligent by acting all wise and experienced, and is often game for an argument.

Solution: The trick to handling this overbearing maniac is to agree with whatever he or she is saying. Remain neutral throughout your conversations, and show no interest as to what The Know-It-All has offered. Once The Know-It-All senses that you are unresponsive, he or she will move on to challenge someone else.

The Complainant

Problem: The Complainant is constantly bothered by something – the weather, the crowd, the job, the food, life in general, basically everything. Whenever you are near The Complainant, you find yourself shrouded in a perpetual cloud of negativity. At times, you find yourself empathizing with The Complainant, but you really feel drained after your fiftieth attempt at cheering your friend up. In fact, you are starting to feel pretty negative yourself.

Solution: Since your friend craves attention and a listening ear (to non-existent problems), distance yourself by not initiating conversations. Chances are, The Complainant will persist, in which case you should try giving neutral replies which do not indicate any form of emotion (especially not sympathy!). It would be helpful to time your response – do not respond immediately to calls, text or chat messages. Drag it out for as long as you can, and if possible, hang out in bigger groups so that you do not drown in full-blown negativity. Cut down on the amount of time you spend with The Complainant, and with a bit of luck, you will be spared eventually.

The Hater

Problem: You enjoyed a clubbing session with the group over the weekend – what a blast! You wake up on Monday morning to find yourself being tagged in numerous unflattering photos on Facebook, taken by your friend during your night out. Sure, you can always untag yourself, but it appears that all shots of you were taken from really bad angles. Perhaps it is simply a case of bad photography skills, or is it?

Solution: Jealous and insecure, The Hater takes every opportunity to put you down or make you look bad in front of others. When things go beyond good-natured jokes and you begin to experience wavering self-confidence (“Perhaps I do resemble Gloria the Hippopotamus!”), you know you need to do something about that friendship. Don’t fall into The Hater’s trap – there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Stop feeding the troll by not reacting to The Hater’s criticisms and remarks. You cannot stop The Hater from putting you down or taking bad photos of you, but you can choose to ignore. Once The Hater realizes that you are no longer reacting the way he or she wants you to, you will be left alone. - Next page

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Tags: Confidence building, Emotional Intelligence, frenemy, friendship, I hate my friend, Problem friends, Self-help, Social interaction

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